There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
