I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
