Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
