I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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