Nicole vs. Life
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
