NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
