my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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