she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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