lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
