your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
