she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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