I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
