K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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