You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
