there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
