Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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