this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I could fuck to npr.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
