i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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