Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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