I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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