Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
