He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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