i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
