Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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