Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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