i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
