do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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