He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
