sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
