About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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