Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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