I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
