Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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