Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
