i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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