Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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