Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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