Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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