Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
