...so i touched it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My bed smells like the plague
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
