if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
