He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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