What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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