My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
