Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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