The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
