I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize