none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i'm inner monologue high
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
