You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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