and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
