first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
