I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
