we're blogging at a bar
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
