that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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