So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I want to be your penis for a week.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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