In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
