Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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